You are in control
Sometimes people can irritate us fast. It can be from annoying messages from people who are bored or want to ask silly question whilst we are doing something that we want to focus on.
It is even more annoying when we are hanging out with this person or if we are on some social event and he or she keeps asking questions that we don’t want to answer. This person can really drains all our energy whilst we want to have a nice time. How to not feel guilty or be rude? How to keep our good mood and not get trapped by them? Keep reading and practise what can you do.
What to do with annoying people?
Set up rules for yourself that you will follow and become free of pressure. You can’t be always empathetic and polite to everyone. It is nice to be a person who cares about others but not all people really need your attention right now. Apart from that, it is draining to please everyone.
Know your priorities
Did you get irritated again by a message from someone who you recently met and who blames you that you are “too busy”? Does this person keep messaging you like crazy why are you not responding?
It is ok to simply not respond. We all have our priorities. We can work towards our goals or just have quality time to enjoy the present moment. The right people understand and they will respect us. If not, they might be the “toxic” people that drain our energy.
Some people are impatient and need a lot of attention right now. They need us to act immediately. If we don’t react quickly, they can get upset and start manipulating us. They just want everything right now.
If it irritates you and the person who bothers you doesn’t know the boundaries, why should you destroy your mood by bouncing messages? Why should you keep explaining that you want to do your hobbies or you have tasks now and don’t have time for them?
It is ok to do things that matters to you. Don’t feel guilty for that.
Act with a pure intension – be yourself
If you are yourself and don’t hide anything that has any bad intention towards the other person, it will not upset you if someone is trying to tell you stuff that is not true about yourself.
You can take it as feedback but there is no need to keep proving yourself. Simply think of who you are and just observe the other person and let it go. If there is no interaction they will most likely stop soon.
Remember if someone wants to make you feel bad, they usually are unhappy with themselves.
Don’t play their game
Some people want to find a target with who they can argue or create some tension in order to release their tension. Don’t let them play their game with you. If they start arguing and overanalysing and it really doesn’t lead to anything else than just a bad mood, then don’t explain everything over and over.
Therefore, it is better to escape from the conversation, say just briefly what do you think and let it go. There is no need to jump in to this game and pull out stuff about the other person and be rude.
If you receive a message and you don’t know how to answer or don’t have time to chat right now, it is ok to just leave it. Especially, if you get a message from someone who is not even your friend or who you know for only a short time.
We all have a certain capacity of people that we hold closer to us and we can’t please everyone all the time.It doesn’t mean to ignore completely and be rude. However, if a new person we met keep asking us many questions while we obviously don’t have time and they keep going then it is not ok. The person probably doesn’t respect our time. It can be a red flag .You should consider if you want to be a friend with this person or not.
Take a while and breathe
Do you feel like reacting immediately and being rude to the person who just kept pushing your limits? Slow down, take a deep breath. It will prevent you from getting caught by triggers and start shouting or blaming. You will get time to control yourself and react differently.
Once you get into an angry emotion with someone, step back and breath. You will see how better you will feel. It requires practice though. In the beginning, you might feel like It is impossible to just breath and be quiet for a while, however, with time it really works.
Practise, practise, practise.
Say a polite statement and let it go
What to say? Don’t overcomplicate it. You can say that you don’t feel comfortable with that or anything how you feel. Don’t say what the other person does and just say your feelings about the situation.
For example, instead of saying “You make me angry.” say “I feel angry about that.” It will make a difference. Then put the phone away or not react anymore for a while and distract yourself with something else.
If this situation happen in person, say that statement and don’t go to too many details that will lead to a long discussion. It is better to leave any deeper conversation for later when you have a fresh mind.
To sum up, you are in control of choosing the people around you. To avoid being irritated, chose your closest tribe of people wisely. Make sure that they don’t make you feel upset, drained or guilty for the most of the time.
It doesn’t mean that you can’t listen if someone really needs help. Of course, if it is serious or if your close friend needs to talk then be here for them. You probably can recognise who really needs someone to talk at a certain moment and who just takes advantage of putting all their negativity to others.
By practising to filter those people who drain you, your life will become happier. Sometimes, you can’t avoid annoying people – for example when you are at work, or a place where you show up regularly. Then learn how to keep yourself calm and happy whilst dealing with them by following this guide. Trust your gut.
Good article, thanks for your suggestions.