In the beginning of goal setting we feel passionate, start doing the action and feel like finding a new life purpose. We have a DREAM, vision and HOPE, we believe we can achieve it.
While we are working on our goal, we realise that it requires working HARD, BE DISCIPLINED and not going back to our old patterns.
That can be challenging! At this point, we start struggling. While we are creating new habits, it creates an uncomfortable feeling of insecurity. This time puts a huge PRESSURE on us, consequently our DOUBTS are increasing.
We might ask ourselves “Will it brings me the results I want to? How long do I have to handle this pressure?”
These thoughts creates UNCERTAINTY, and subsequently we get a point to give up!
There are some reasons that increase our doubts:
Self-fulling prophecy -> We keep repeating ourselves that it is too hard.
Comparing ourselves with others -> Limited beliefs that we are not good or smart enough
Someone else tells us that we cannot do it, that it is impossible.
Feeling of rejection because we are surrounded by people who don’t support us.
The consequences are fear, lack of self-confidence, getting easily distracted and starting to go back to our comfort zone because it is just so easy. Afterwards, we give up, forget our goal and the purpose why we wanted it, and then we create a statement of excuses why we stopped.
However, if you already put so much effort to start, made the decision to do it ask yourself – “why do I let myself to quit?”
If you think about it, giving up means just releasing a temporary pressure. After some time, you might realise that you are unhappy because you gave up and then want to achieve this goal again. It can put you into a circle of starting and quitting over and over again.
For example, you made a decision to lose weight so you start eating healthy and exercise, you are doing well for one month and then might see some results.
However, if the results are not big enough or you have a temptation and get distracted, then you tend to go back to your comfort zone as it is something familiar to you.
In this time, though, you broke your promise. Neither you don’t achieve what you want to nor you don’t stop complaining if you give up.
Do you want to feel comfortable now or rather CHALLENGE yourself in order to feel AWESOME later?
If we give up in the middle of the process, then we will have to discipline ourselves to start again next time and learn again. We are kind of wasting our time and stress ourselves because of a lack of discipline instead of overcoming this pressure and keep going until we reach the goal or anchor the right habit!
Our brain has billions of neurons that create a new connection with each new habit which takes time to connect it properly. Neurons have also a memory which means that what we have already learned and practiced for a long time, we still remember it, even though we didn’t practice it for some time. That’s why, for example, when we used to learn how to write and then don’t write for some time, we won’t forget it. However, it all depends on how strong the connection was.
When we want to learn a new habit, it takes time to make the connection and settle in. It usually takes around 21days. If we interrupt the creation of the new patterns too soon, then it slowly dies, and we need to start again.
The principle of the neurons is perfectly described in a document “What the bleep do we know” This document talks about quantum physics connected with philosophy and scientists.
What is the solution to not give up?
Stay focused, be consistent, persevere and don’t let anyone stop you. Only you know why do you want to achieve your goal so believe you can have it, you can do it! This really works and it takes a time to understand how exactly this “law of achieving goals” works but once you get the “Aha” moment, then you can achieve anything and enjoy the process of learning as well.
You never know how far you are from your goal. You can be just a one step from it!
Believe and the opportunities will come. Whether are you searching for a dream job, looking for a business partner or life partner, you can literally be one step from it. Let’s be open to accepting it.
The main point is:
No matter how it hurts, how painful is the process of change NOW, the pain will not last forever! And then just imagine the sweet goal.
If you believe, you can achieve anything! It will give you the power to get where do you want to be.